Scott Keneally: Writer at Large


You Are Only In Charge Until They Impeach You

Published in Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped and Canceled
by Scott Keneally

An essay of mine was published in this funny anthology.  According to the book jacket, Rejected is a "hilarious collection of rejected stories - and rejected works - by some of today's most accomplished and up-and-coming comedic writers and performers, sharing their pieces that were ripped to pieces and their own experiences of being handed their hats, heads, and hearts on a platter." Essentially, the book features essays, jokes, sketches, cartoons and articles passed over by venues like Saturday Night Live, The Onion, and, in my case, This American Life. (Fuckers :) Anyways, the book is really funny. And I'm in it!  Along with author Neal Pollack and funnyman Jon Stewart.

The New California Gold Rush


Published in DETAILS
by Scott Keneally

Here's my expose about the medical marijuana movement.  While it's all the rage these days, when this piece came out little national attention was paid to the plethoric "pot docs" and the bum rush of "patients" who were smoking dope with a doctor's note.  A similar feature ran in Rolling Stone a week after mine and now, of course, stories about the movement are as ubiquitous as the word ubiquitous.  Click to read...

Confessions of a Music Video Concept Writer

Published in JANE
by Scott Keneally

As a treatment writer, I work with directors to help detail the storyline, look and feel of both music videos and commercials.  In short, I'm the guy penning lines like: Great attention will be paid to hair, makeup, wardrobe and lighting to ensure that Enrique Iglesias looks sexier than ever before.  This essay describes my adventures in this niche industry, including that one afternoon when I shamelessly snapped a few photos of Jessica Simpson's Diesel-wrapped rear.  Here's the piece...
I'm a Cinematic Sap


Published in JANE
by Scott Keneally

I know there's something wrong when I'm crying at the Superbowl.  Or misting rather.  It's not because Seattle's star quarterback, a onetime teammate of mine at Boston College is losing a winnable game.  Nor am I moved by the storyline of a Pittsburgh sports legend capping his career with a championship in his Detroit hometown.  No.  I tear or mist or whatever when the Dove "Self-esteem" ad runs.  Read more... 

"I (Still) Wet the Bed."

Published in JANE
by Scott Keneally

"How much longer are you going to lie in that, dude?"  Five months ago, the voice of the girl I'd hooked up with startled me from a drunken sleep.  I can hardly bear the thought of her shaking my soggy, lifeless body, then glowering at me from the sliver of dry bed near the wall.  As my Jack Daniels haze dissipated, I watched her race out of my apartment huffing, "Somebody needs to be potty-trained."  (Read More... Link Coming Soon)

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Profile of Naomi Brilliant, Wine Hero, Roshambo Winery

Published in NYLON
by Scott Keneally

I'm not a sophisticated drinker. Fine wine always seemed too precious for my taste. So when a friend invited me to a winery, I hesitated. I didn't want someone snickering if I swirled the wine out of the glass or accidentally pronounced the 't' in Merlot. >>>Read More

Profile of Harry Morton 

Published in NYLON
by Scott Keneally

Sexy starlets, motorcycling midgets, and an endless stream of champagne are all in a day's work for Hard Rock Hotel heir Harry Morton.  NYLON magazine sent me to Las Vegas to see for myself. >>>Read More

Flirting with Disaster

Published in 7x7 Magazine
by Scott Keneally

After struggling on the dating scene for far too long, San Francisco's 7x7 Magazine sent me to a "life coach" for some pointers.  What followed was a bizarre evening in which my dating guru wouldn't let go of me.  Quite literally. >>>Read More
I'm a Fauxhemain

Published in NYLON GUYS
by Scott Keneally

I lost the spirit of Christmas at an early age as soon as I realized that Mom was in cahoots with Santa Claus. As I tore open box after box of khakis, turtle necks, sweaters and Argyle socks, all in hopes of finding a toy or two, Mom reassured me, 'Even Santa knows the clothes make the man.' >>>Read More
Profile of Carey Hart, Motocross Legend

Published in NYLON GUYS

by Scott Keneally

Carey Hart is out of his fucking mind. At least that's what you might assume. After all, on the path to sticking the first ever motorbike backflip, the Freestyle Motocross maverick has snapped just about every bone you can name, and a bunch you can't. >>>Read More

I'm a Celebrity Slut

Published in Fresh Yarn
by Scott Keneally

Fresh Yarn is an online saloon for personal essays.  Each month the site publishes six true stories from both accomplished and up-and-coming writers.  I was elated when they ran my piece about my abnormal fascination with celebrities.  Click here to read.