The following words are excerpted from my new story, "NEUROTIC." Sorry I had to censor the photo, but I didn't want to scare anyone.
Playing college football didn’t exactly boost my self-image, either. Not just because the locker room was packed with annoyingly fit guys but mainly because of the communal shower. For most of my life I had purposely avoided communal showers. I was young and homophobic and rather repulsed by the idea of being around other men’s naked penises. But on day one of winter camp I was forced into it. Everyone showered. I stood at my locker looking down, terrified and trying not to see the shadows, the shadows of men dangling as they strolled past. I wasn’t ready to make my entrance.
"Come on," I told it. "Give me something." I was, of course, talking to my penis, coaching it to spare me a couple more inches. It’s not that I had a small penis, it’s that when flaccid I had a diminutive penis. Sometimes when I step into the shower my girlfriend stares at it and says, “Awe,” as if it were a baby spider monkey. I was what some people liked to call a grower, not a shower.
"Come on, plllllease," I begged. No luck. If anything, it was retracting. So I took to casually sweeping my towel across it. "Finally," I thought, and walked to the shower with a very small handful of dignity that quickly circled the drain. I just wasn’t prepared for the extent of other men’s endowments. Granted, these athletes were taller, stronger and just plain bigger than most anyone and so their penis should be to scale and reflect that. But I was very tall and wore big gloves and shoes too, why wasn’t I to scale? Even though I was a bit over the six-inch average when fully erect, "a bit over the average" looks shockingly small on a guy of my height.
Penis problems and paranoia? Check.
posted by Scott Keneally @ 12:58 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home